I don't know about you, but as soon as my coffee kicks in on a normal Saturday morning those crazy voices start going off in my head. All I can do is look around and see the many tasks I feel I must complete before "play time" is deserved. So, have you ever noticed, the "list we hear in our heads" never goes away but as one thing has been finished, another is added? There are times certain task must be accomplished. If the alternator goes out in the car, we must fix it, or stay home. If the roof is leaking, we must get it repaired before the rain comes. If we have no underwear, it's time to wash or buy new ones. When your toddler pee's in the bed, it's time do the linens, I would recommend it, everyone will know if you decide to put it off. These are all examples of daily things, we call, life. Whether you're a stay at home mom or a working mom, it really doesn't matter; the fact is you’re still a mom. A mom who's task seem to never be completed. You open the laundry room door and scratch your head in wonder, who's been wearing all these clothes? If we all have nothing to wear than where on earth is this laundry coming from? I'm not sure about your family members but I'm constantly hearing- I don't have anything to wear!!! I'm sure I’ve been guilty of that, too.
Our Saturdays are sacred. We adore them. Similar to cookies in our house, you can smell them baking in the oven, you know it’s getting close you see them turning brown as you wait in delight- wha-la they’re done -and wha-la- poof -they’re gone!
No alarm clock blaring in my ear, normally.
We have a built in alarm that goes off as a back-up around 6:30am on a good day.
It sounds like this: mommy, daddy, sissy, bubba (blankie), mic (milk), I want Sarah, moma, dada, Debbie as he increasingly is getting louder with every word. Everyone's awake!
By the time a normal Saturday is winding down I find that I'm exhausted!
It’s gone too fast and I only enjoyed about half of the day.
Don't you find yourself getting cranky, irritable and ready to plop down and take a nap. Although, I've accomplished everything in my little “mind to do list” and feel super sparkly, pine-sol clean as soon as the first dish gets dirty, you notice grass on the floor, the dogs hair on the freshly vacuumed rug we seem to get our panties all ruffled, because people in our home are just doing what they do best, living.
Then it’s, “what's for dinner”?
You think to yourself and sometimes say it out loud, as you make a huffing, puffing noise, have you not seen me cleaning all day?
Fresh sheets, vacuumed and mopped floors (nothings sticking to the bottom of your feet), toilets are now clean enough to use, laundry is complete-folded and put up! I grocery shopped with coupons (you have no idea the hours it took to prepare for that) and stocked the fridge and pantry, bought extra toilet paper so we won't run out again this week, cleaned the car out, pulled weeds out of the flower bed and made brownies for everyone because that’s just how I roll.
Although, these accomplishments make us feel great, we tend to have an attitude of regret.
Why did I even do all of that? We often think our families don't appreciate our hard work and they don't realize everything we do.
So why don't we change?
Kind of like the line off of "Soul Surfer", get a new perspective? Instead we continue to have the same routine, week after week and we continue to complain (remember I'm not a nagger just a complainer) about the same things. Like the saying, if it’s not broke don't fix but if it's broke, it needs to be fixed! You wouldn't let a hole in your roof flood the house while you just sit, watch and complain. No you would fix it. I hope.
Complaining equals more complaining. Complaining leads to more complaining. Repeat. Say it with me…
(ok you can stop now)
I'm here to tell you, your family appreciates’s you; your kids couldn't do it without you! Our husband would be lost if we weren't there to point out the batteries, in the top shelf -fridge, where they put them and we would be lost without them, keeping us calm when the kids are biting each other, comforting us with their tender hugs when they just don't know what to say, that's all we really needed anyways.
Because of our outlook and piling our "list" so full we sometimes can't enjoy the things-great, important things and people so wonderful that are right in front of us.
We’ve been “Blind-Sided”! - That’s a movie- You’ve heard of it, I’m sure. I cried.
We feel as though we must make it to every birthday party, every function we’ve ever been invited too. What happen to simpler times in life?
Call me old fashion but what’s so wrong with clearing our schedule and having some family time?
You can say no, it will be ok. You’re allowed. You’re a big girl now. They’ll get over it. Believe it or not people are more understanding than we give them credit for.
It’s the expectation we hold for ourselves.
It’s you you’re not wanting to let down. We think we should do it all and be able to.
Why go to a function you’ve been dreading for 2 months?
We love having our friends over. We don’t do it as often as we used to or would like, and I asked my hubby, what’s up and what’s changed? Here’s my 2 cents and we’re guilty as well: Everyone’s busy doing things they don’t enjoy, by the time is convenient to just hang out, play some cards and eat some of those brownies I made; we’re all just to plain tired.
I’ve noticed how we pile so many things on our plate that we’ve had to upgrade to a platter, to have more room.
The problem with that is things get pushed out as new things get added. We get less sleep, less quality time with our spouses, less time for our friends and what we’ve added more of is a whole lot of stress. Less time for things we enjoy. I know. I’ve been there. I'll probably be there again and have to get it all straight.
Where’d playing the piano go? Running with my friends? Having morning coffee with my husband?
This last Saturday was a delightful one indeed!
Here are some tips that help me- maybe you’ll get something out of it. Even if it’s just one thing that helps.
1. It’s ok- to not be busy. Read that again-
2. Don’t make tasks into chores.
Here’s the big one- this will be hard for some-
3. Don’t waste your life away cleaning-
I decided I don’t want to spend my Saturdays cleaning all day. Or any day.
4. 30 minute clean up – Set the timer-
Make a list of the top things you’d like done. Start with the ones driving the snot outta ya.
(It’s not a typo-it’s how I talk)
Everyone in the family pitches in (my docs advice, see my second blog, it’s all about her).
Let them pick their own task.-they feel in control- when the timer goes off you’re done.
I was still mopping when the timer went off. I wasn’t finished mopping but I quit, why because they’ll never be a good time to start changing except for the very second you do it.
Have you ever noticed when you get in the cleaning mode, you see a spot on the stove you wipe it, you see a stain on the couch you scrub it, you noticed the drink spillage that’s dribbled down the cabinets, the TV screens has finger-prints, the entry way needs to be swept and before you know it; you’ve made your way down the street cutting all the neighbors grass and cleaning their fingerprinted, dog slobbered doors. Ok maybe not but its endless, I have better ways to spend my time, now. Just stop when the timer beeps. It’s worth it and feels liberating.
(Remember if you’re list is too long you’ll never get it completed and seem like a failure to yourself), your family admires you; they just don’t know you need to hear it. They think you know it already.
Make your list sensible for goodness sake.
For all of those gals out there, I can think of a few in my life, not many, you know who you are (T.W :)) that have dirty dishes in your sink, your carpet needs to be vacuumed and probably cleaned and your room tidied up a bit.